some days...

some days i just. keep. painting. 

no point, no inspiration, nothing to talk about.  today i collaged, i painted ducks and tigers and outstretched hands awaiting high-fives. 

and looking at all my work right now...i'm pretty sure i'll paint over it tomorrow.  but some days i just push paint around. and wait for it.   

i just heard this zen story about a girl who goes two places at once.  she's in love with some guy (let's call him Reef Squander, ok?) but her father arranges for her to marry another guy.  so Reef is heartbroken (because he's in love with her too) and he decides to get out of town.  he is just too bummed to deal.  but the girl (let's call her Emily Pepper) finds Reef as he is leaving.  she tells him she loves him and they run away and make a home together. 

years later Reef comes home to find Emily all sad and weepy because she misses her family so much.  he misses their home town too, so they decide to return to her father's house.  but when they arrive, her father refuses to believe it's really Emily because, apparently, Emily has been sick in bed ever since the day Reef left town.  and it's true.  there is one Emily standing beside Reef and there is another Emily lying in bed all heartsick and sad.  when the two girls see eachother (or themselves or whatever) they come together and become one whole person. 

i think the story is partly about how we split off into manageable bits when the going gets rough.  we abandon our heartache or our guilt or whatever and we become hard little bits of ourselves.  but eventually, hopefully, if we pay attention, we can come back home and become whole again. 

i feel like a hard little bit today. 

Comments

[thecharmschooldropout]

great story, heavy, but good. your blog is nice.

[jim]

i heard a story where seven people had to get back in the same room to become whole. you write great and paint pushing lets you think.

[clare cupcake]

thanks for the nice comments.

i'm not trying to be too heavy...seems like my words just come out heavier than i plan sometimes. they start out like feathers, but they kinda come out like bricks. i'm just pushing paint, thinking (probably too much), and trying to work on my written communication skills.

jim, did you really hear that story about seven people or are you just funnin'?

[janice laverne]

hello, loved your tree paintings on etsy. lots. i know you don't know me and it's strange to ask questions of a stranger, but? could i ask you what resin product you use? i'm working on a project of 100 2 sided paintings on coasters (the kind you get under a glass of beer) and want more shine on them than just gloss medium or tar gel. they are all different shapes and i'm also wondering how i would contain the resin from running off the edges.

so now i've imposed on a stranger, but do know that my interest arose from my appreciation of your work.

Thanks for reading, Janice La Verne, Eugene, Or.

[clare cupcake]

honest, friendly questions from strangers are one of the few good things about the internet (also included in the list: the daily show, colbert report and pictures of baby animals cuddling).

i use ultra-glo from tap plastics.

http://www.tapplastics.com/shop/product.php?pid=31&

it's fairly simple to use and i love the results, but it's pretty toxic stuff. so i'm always on the lookout for something a bit more eco-friendly.

[janice laverne]

Thanks so much for the info. art, art, i'm kinda isolated here, my art buddies moved to Seattle. So the internet gives me a connected feeing, and if others are working then i want to!

Thanks again for the reply, Janice

[megan]

what a great little story. i think i've split apart a number of times! but always to return and figure it out...